Blog #403                                          November 28, 2024

 

I am going to define a word for you.  This will not count as the Weekly Word.  The word is doofus.  A doofus is someone who drives half an hour to have lunch with a friend, then drives a half hour home where he discovers that he left his credit card at the restaurant and has to drive 30 minutes back to retrieve it and then 30 minutes back home.  Any similarity between the character described in the previous definition and anyone who writes to you on Thursdays is purely coincidental.

 

I was driving down the street this morning, noticing that the multi-colored magnificence of early Fall foliage had disappeared, replaced now by the withering drabness and decaying litter of approaching Winter.  I felt low.  Then I remembered a quote from an author named Anthony D’Angelo – Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.  And I can think of no better way of bringing sunshine than to wish all my friends and loyal readers a wonderful, happy and delicious Thanksgiving.  Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and brown gravy, apple pie, loving friends and family.  It’s my favorite meal and my favorite day.

 

Hi there and welcome back.  I hope you are feeling well on this Happy Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for on this day.  There’s my wife (yes, this week I’ll say something nice about her: she’s special and wonderful and I adore her).  And there are my children, my grandchildren, my children-in-law, my friends.  I’m thankful for my health and I’m thankful for the opportunity to talk to you every week.  Count your blessings, everyone. 

 

I know many of you are troubled by the state of the world, your constant struggle to stay healthy, the frustration you feel about politics, and the cost of nearly everything.  But today we must be thankful for the food we are fortunate to share and the people we can share it with.  Enjoy your holiday.

 

Thanksgiving Message from Shakespeare:  I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks (Twelfth Night).  Thanks to Nonnie and Pops for adopting me so I wouldn’t have to be an orphan.  And thanks to you for letting a cat talk to you every week.  You’re pretty weird.  Purr.

 

 

And speaking of politics, we recently went out with some friends, and during the evening some of the Democrats among us and some of the Republicans entered into a heated exchange.  And that is when I, your bastion of reason and even-measured calm, your representative of peace and good will, your dispatcher of grace and lovingkindness took charge in an effort to diffuse the paroxysm of this rancorous atmosphere.  I calmly took control by emphasizing that the person who gets upset at the results of an election is only hurting his own well-being, and that arrogance and aggression have no place in a friendly encounter.  Here’s what I said:  

 

Now whether you’re Blue or you’re Red

Don’t fight, just be peaceful instead

‘Cause if you’re not calm

I’ll raise up my palm

And slap you all upside the head.

 

There, that should calm everybody down.  Besides, we shouldn’t complain.  The world has an over-abundant supply of self-pity, and we really don’t need to add to it, although the truth is that we seniors have plenty to complain about.  Prescription prices, aching backs, boredom, isolation, unwanted updates to our phones, the View – but what can we do about it, riot?  We’ve certainly seen enough of those in our long lives, but there’s an innate problem with Senior Riots.  Can you just picture a bunch of old people marching the streets chanting:  WHAT DO WE WANT?  WE FORGOT.  WHEN DO WE WANT IT?  WE FORGOT THAT TOO.

 

Now let’s do our real Weekly Word.  No, it’s not doofus; it’s paroxysm which is a sudden, strong and uncontrollable expression of emotion.

 

Back to politics: In the news this week, the newly-elected Trump Administration has rounded out its cabinet with the following appointments:

 

·        Mick Jagger as Drug Czar

·        Mickey Mouse as the Secretary of Cheese

·        Tom Brady as Secretary of Offense

·        And in charge of helping Mr. Trump get rid of all his legal cases and come out scot-free -- Jussie Smollett

 

You know, each week I bring you my collection of little musings and stories like a pet dog dutifully brings dead squirrels to the front door.  The dog actually thinks his master is going to love them.  Well, I’ll keep trying.  Here’s one that might ring true.

 

If Dante were writing The Inferno today, I’m certain that his choice for the location of Hell would be the space underneath my desk.  There are enough wires down there to reach Mars and enough plugs to populate Daddy Warbucks’ head. There are eight “things” plugged in.  There’s a router and a modem and a computer and a printer and a lamp and my iPod and two other things that could be nuclear warheads for all I know.  I am so technically hapless that I could screw up a nail file, so it’s a sure bet that if it has a wire, I’m guaranteed to put it in the wrong place.  I’m amazed that I have children.  And stop laughing.  It probably looks the same under your desk.

 

It’s been a very busy week.  So much to do, so little time, so little talent.  And one of the problems is that I’m not good at multi-tasking.  My wife, however, can do two or three things at once and can easily pack 48 hours-worth of activities into any 24-hour day.  The only multi-tasking I can do is to be lost and poorly dressed at the same time.  It’s a gift.

 

Well, loyal readers, on this Thanksgiving Day I am grateful for many things, and one of them is the opportunity to be with you each week.  Enjoy your turkey, stay well and count your blessings, because every day should be a day of thanksgiving.  And remember what Mother Teresa said, “The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.  Do good anyway.”  See you next week.  That’s me who will see you next week, not Mother Teresa.  Oy, if you see Mother Teresa next week –well, I hope they get Limerick Oyster in Heaven (or wherever you go).

 

Michael                                             Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com