Blog #340                                         September 14, 2023

 

Last weekend was our 60^th high school reunion.  Both Carol and I graduated University City High School (U. City) in 1963.  The reunion was very nice, and I actually got to see some special women from my younger days.  My Childhood Sweetheart (VB) was there.  We were neighbors and used to spend time at each other’s house.  That was when we were 7-12 years old.  She looked great!  Then there was my First Girlfriend (JB).  From 13 on, we were jitterbug partners and best of friends.  She looked wonderful.  And then, my Bestest Forever High School Sweetheart (CB), who, by the way, has been my wife for the last 56 years.  She looked spectacular.  What great fun and memories!

 

There was another girl there (KS) who I always thought was really cute back in school.  At our 50^th reunion, she told me she had a crush on me in high school.  “Schmuck,” I replied, “why didn’t you tell me?”  Then she told Carol that she thought I was very funny.  Carol looked at her and said, “You must have the wrong person.”  Rodney and I don’t get no respect.

 

Actually, everybody looked good.  About 125 people were there, out of a class of 550.  I think everyone was mellow and acceptant of their lives.  At our reunion ten years ago, we were in our late 60s and hadn’t really come to grips with our places in life.  Now, in our late 70s, we have relaxed into reality and accepted what we are. 

 

We saw a video highlighting the songs and movies we loved back in 1963 and the places we hung out.  One place we hung out was a burger joint named Steak ‘n Shake.  Actually, it was to Steak ‘n Shake that I took my future wife on our first date, Steak ‘n Shake and bowling.  Do you believe that?  And she still married me.  I know everybody thinks that Carol is little and doesn’t eat much.  You could not be more wrong if you had purchased an Edsel.  Usually, at Steak ‘n Shake, Carol would order a triple (that’s right, my friends, a triple) cheeseburger and a large order of fries.  Entire villages in the Sudan have existed for months on less than that little toothpick gobbled down.  Plus, she can chow down a steakburger faster than Bill Clinton can unzip.

 

The video also included a sad list of all the classmates we have lost in 60 years.  The evening was all very nostalgic.  Plus, I added some new readers to my blog.

 

Message from Shakespeare:  A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish (The Comedy of Errors).  For all you new readers, I am Shakespeare, the three-legged cat.  Welcome to my blog.  Pops thinks it’s his blog, but we all know that the reason people come back every week is to hear me.  I’ll even write the limerick this week.  Mine are better than his.

 

                   There once was a boy from U. City

                   Who married a girl who was pretty

                   They live in St. Loo

                   And I live there too

                   I’m Shakespeare, the three-legged kitty.

Purr.

 

Hi there and welcome back.  Enough of the cat!  I hope you’re feeling well and staying away from doctors.  Leonardo da Vinci (remember him? Class of 1470). Leo said, “You will the better succeed in proportion as you keep clear of the physicians.”  Leo’s English was a little strange.  He probably didn’t have Mrs. Gottlieb.

 

My physicians are just itching to cut open my neck and diddle with my parathyroid glands.  Nobody looks forward to an operation.  I have had my share: a hip, open heart, 10 eye operations.  Or is it eleven?  Here are some thoughts.

 

·        It’s so cold in an operating room even Joy Behar would hug Donald Trump to stay warm.

·        I’m not a big fan of hospital gowns.  I really do not like when my rear is clear, my butt isn’t shut, my derriere is in the air and my caboose is loose.  You get the picture?  Sorry!

·        And catheters, God?  Seriously?   Please, the next time You’re in a creative mood, try making a world without catheters, mosquitoes, kale and Presidential Debates.  But keep the Cherry Jell-O.  One of Your best things.

 

I recently read an article in which the author made a snide comment about doctors.  It said, “49 % of doctors were in the bottom half of their class.”  Now, what manner of mathematical moron, what nature of numerical numbskull, what denizen of the depths of digital dumbness thinks that the bottom half is 49%?  If the bottom half is 49%, then the top half is 49% and that adds up to 98%.  Where are the other 2% of the class, in Congress?

 

Each one of our political parties has it’s lunatic wing.  Sometimes, they are so bizarrely stupid that it’s comical and frightening at the same time.  If the Right isn’t massing to attack the Capitol, then the Left is steadily sliding down the slippery slope of silliness.  In recent days, they have vowed, if elected, to eliminate cows, straws and carbon.

 

They want to eliminate cows because cows fart and besides, it’s cruel to eat them.  They want to eliminate straws because, well, just because.  I’m not sure they know.  The Zoo does not allow straws because we have lost a couple of animals who have choked on straws that have blown into their habitats, so I agree with them on that one.  Now, they just want to eliminate people.  The world is overpopulated, they say, and we have to reduce the population because people eat cows and the more people we have, the more cows we have and cows fart.  And what are they going to do with all the straws they make illegal?  I have a suggestion.  Send them all to Washington, D.C.  Most of the people there suck anyway.

 

Sorry about the rant.  I do that once in a while.  Let’s lighten up and do our Weekly Word.  Denizen is a good word.  It means an inhabitant or occupant of a particular place.

 

Okay, Weekly Word – check.  Limerick – check.  Message from that stupid cat – check.  A few laughs – check.  I guess we’re done here.  Stay well, count your blessings and enjoy the Jewish high holidays.  See you next week.  Don’t be late.

 

Michael                                    Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com