Blog #238                                         September 30, 2021

 

What a morning:

 

·        Got a sweet tea at McDonald’s.  It was free because I had a coupon.

·        Got my light treatment.  You know -- goggles, brown paper bag, quoth the raven!  No co-pay, covered by insurance.

·        Got a prescription at the CVS in my grocery store.  Free. Covered by insurance.

·        Bought groceries and checked out.  Got $6 off from a coupon I got when I received my flu shot.  The shot was free, covered by insurance.

·        Got an additional $5 from a pharmacy coupon for being a frequent pill-taker.

·        Tried to think of other places I could go to get free stuff.

·        Went home and got a free kiss from my wife.  Life is good! 

 

Message from Shakespeare:  I love long life better than figs (Antony and Cleopatra).  I don’t know about those figs, but life is good for me too.  I get lots of free stuff.  Actually, I guess I get everything free – food, cushions, climbing things, toys, even a kiss from Pops every day.  Life is Purr-fect!

 

I have come up with an interesting collection of observations.  I’m sure it won’t rival The Theory of Evolution, but interesting nonetheless.  I have discovered a crucial and fundamental dichotomy – inside/outside.  For instance, if a creature, perhaps a spider, is outside, it is one of Nature’s creations, to be respected and treated with dignity and honor.  If it’s inside, it’s a pest and needs to be squashed.  And snow – if it’s outside, it is sparkling and thrilling and beautiful.  If it’s inside, you need a new roof.  And what about the human body?  If it’s inside, it’s urine; if it’s outside it’s piss.  If it’s inside, it’s bile; if it’s outside, it’s puke.  If it’s inside it’s mucus; if it’s outside it’s snot.

 

          When you’re with your Honey

And your nose gets kind of runny,

          You may think it’s funny

          But it’s snot!

 

And human society?  Well, if you’re inside my group, my clan, my religion, then you’re a friend, a compatriot, someone I will confide in and defend and protect.  If you’re outside, you are alien, strange, different.  I try to accept everybody – unless it’s a spider in my house.  God, I know it’s one of Your creatures, but spiders, God?  Seriously?  I mean, race, creed, color, sexual orientation or national origin?  I accept everyone.  But eight legs and eight eyes?  I pass.

 

Hi there, and welcome back.  I hope you’re feeling well and staying away from spiders.  Tomorrow is October already.  Halloween and cool mornings and National Name Your Car Day.  Actually, National Name Your Car Day is this Saturday.  I had a convertible once that I named Lexi.  I loved that car.  Now I have an old Toyota Corolla that I named Betty White.  She’s grown old with me, but she still has some spunk.  My daughter had a minivan once that I christened Hot Tamale.  I named it that on a cool October morning when I borrowed her car after a chilly night when she must have activated the seat warmer.  I didn’t even know the van had a seat warmer.  After two minutes, however, I knew.  After three minutes I was frantically searching for an on-off switch.  After four minutes I was standing up.  Have you ever tried to drive while standing up?  It ought to be a new Olympic event -- Brake Dancing.

 

Let’s get to something funny.  I don’t know if I told you this story.  If I have, you’ve forgotten it.  We just went through the Jewish High Holy Days, and I was reminded of a Jewish wedding we attended some years ago.  Well, it was partially Jewish.  The groom was Jewish; the bride had converted to Judaism, but her parents were Christians.  Got it?  After the ceremony, custom demands music and dancing the hora, during which the celebrants are lifted upon their chairs by three or four strong young people and danced around the room.  On this night, the bride and groom were hoisted, then the parents of the groom were hoisted and all was joyous.  However, when it came to lifting the bride’s parents, the father was willing, but the mother of the bride could not be found.  Perhaps she did not fancy participating in this heathen ritual.  Whatever the reason, she was AWOL – A Wasp On Leave.  What to do?  Tradition, tradition!  So they grabbed a friend of the bride’s family and used her as a stand-in.  I guess that would more properly be called a sit-in.  Everyone applauded.

 

To tell you the truth we had ruther

Been able to lift the bride’s mother

But she wasn’t around

So some stranger we found.

One Christian looks just like another.

 

I have to take up some of your time to report something that happened at my grandson’s high-school last week.  It’s my St. Louis grandson, Tyler, who just turned 16 two days ago.  He’s a very good boy and was patient with me as I gathered all the details.  On Wednesday of last week, various racist graffiti was discovered in the school bathrooms.  Things like I HATE (the N-word) and so on.  That evening, the students got together on Instagram (whatever that is) to organize and plan a protest for the next day, and on Thursday, all the students walked out of the building from 10:00 to about 1:30, remaining on school property.  It made all the local news stations.  The faculty and administration did not interfere and the students returned to the building for their final class.  Tyler told me that the perpetrator has confessed, but the school will not reveal the name or the punishment.  That’s all I know, except that we live in a very difficult world. Hear me now oh thou bleak and unbearable world, thou art base and debauched as can be. (Quick Quiz:  That quote was the opening line of the opening song of a Broadway show.  What’s the show?)

 

Our Weekly Word today is debauched which means indulging in sensual pleasures to a degree perceived to be morally harmful and is in the first song of   Man of La Mancha.  Today, I have treated you to quotes or references from Poe, Shakespeare, Darwin and Don Quixote.  Is it just me that’s weird, or is it everybody?  Don’t answer that.  Stay well, count your blessings and name your car.  See you next week.

 

Michael                                    Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com