Blog #252                                January 6, 2022

 

I have not seen a Marmatod in fourteen-hundred years.

A Marmatod is like an ox with feathers in its ears,

But somehow still it hears.

 

Well, it’s not really like an ox because it has four eyes,

A dozen antlers, sixteen legs, two flippers and it flies.

At least it really tries.

 

I think that I remember what a Marmatod has got,

But it’s been fourteen-hundred years and that is quite a lot,

So maybe I forgot.

 

That is probably my favorite poem.  It’s whimsical and silly and all the things that I’m not, at least on the surface.  On the surface I’m logical and organized and practical and dull.  But underneath, somewhere, is a Marmatod, writing poetry and trying to get the feathers out of his ears and looking for someone to play with.

 

Hi there. Wanna play?  Welcome back to Limerick Oyster.  I hope you are feeling well and ready for 2022.  At this time of year, young people hope that the new year will bring them wealth and fame and success and love.  People my age (as in people who remember The June Taylor Dancers) just hope that things don’t get any worse than they are now.

 

Message from Shakespeare:  The miserable have no other medicine but only hope (Measure for Measure).  Well, I’m not miserable.  I have a great home and three good legs.  And my biggest hope for the new year is that Pops doesn’t travel very often.  I hate being alone.  And does “New Year” mean a person-year or a cat-year?  Purr.

 

We’re right in the middle of Awards Season now!  Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, People’s Choice, Critic’s Choice, SAG.  It seems that every week there’s an extravaganza where societies of rich people give themselves awards.  Have you ever really looked at the audience at these award shows?  I certainly hope Nancy Pelosi and Elizabeth Warren are watching, because if they want to tax the rich, this is the place to be.  Prices are sky-rocketing; violence and poverty have infested every large American city, Covid is careering through the entire Greek alphabet.  But what do we see at these award shows?  A bunch of Barbie dolls strutting around in their Versaces and Jimmy Choos, signing $20 million contracts for their next movie, cable series or music video.  And when they accept their awards for being rich and skinny, or their awards for being ruthless and powerful, they always take the opportunity to tell us how to live our boring and normal lives.  They wouldn’t know what a normal life was if they ran over one with their Maserati. 

 

Our Weekly Word is careering, which means rushing around in a reckless and uncontrolled manner.  A lot of people use careening (with an “n”) instead, but that actually means tilting to one side.  And while I’m at it, the first two letters of the Greek alphabet are alpha and beta.  Put them together and you get alphabeta, so it’s easy to see where the word alphabet comes from.

 

I know you’re tired of listening to my medical stories, but there’s usually something amusing there.  For instance, I just went to see Dr. Doctor because my blood pressure was high.  I just love him because he cares about me and always asks the right questions.  His first question was:

 

Why are you taking your blood pressure at home?

I’ve been having headaches every afternoon and my wife says they could be caused by high blood pressure and she has a cuff, so she’s been taking it.

I have one of those at home too.

A cuff?

No, a wife.

 

That is word-for-word.  I didn’t know doctors could be so funny.  I giggled like one of the mice in Cinderella.  The bottom line is that he does not recommend taking BP at home because doctors are trained to do it the right way and the home cuffs are not really that good, so he increased my meds and told me to keep a log of my BP using the same home device he doesn’t like.  Go figure.

 

Movie Review:  We haven’t been to a movie in a very long time, but on New Year’s Eve we went to see American Underdog, the story of Kurt Warner, the hall-of-fame quarterback for the St. Louis Rams.  I don’t envision any Academy Awards here, but Warner is a sports god in St. Louis and we all loved the movie.  It’s a tear-jerking rags-to-riches story about a really good man who turned out to be a really great football player. Kind of like Rocky with shoulder pads.

 

After the movie, we met with friends for dinner and were home by 11:00.  As Bill Vaughn said, “Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to.”  And old age, I might add, is when you just can’t.  Bill Vaughn, born in St. Louis, was a columnist for the Kansas City Star for more than thirty years.  Another one of his quotes describes this New Year’s Eve perfectly: An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.

 

Last week I got an email from something called Match Seniors – Meet Happy, Loyal Women.  A friend of mine, thinking loyalty was an important quality, tried this dating service for Seniors and found a great woman.  He told me all about her:

 

Her wit is as sharp as a knife

She’s a beautiful thing in my life

She makes my heart boil

And they say that she’s loyal

So maybe she won’t tell my wife.

 

In 2021, I read my 800^th book.  I made myself a promise in 1979 to read at least ten pages every day, and, except for that day twelve years ago when I was deader than Jimmy Hoffa, I have kept that promise.  Of course, I keep a list of everything I read.  I’m shooting for a thousand books, and I think I can make that in about seven more years.  Since tomorrow is my 76^th birthday, that would make me 83.  I expect to make it and I expect all you Loyal Readers to be right there with me. So count your blessings, count your books, stay well, and be back next week.  No excuses.

 

Michael                                    Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com