Blog #474                                April 9, 2026

 

After my appendix operation, I eschewed the rehab phase.  I remember my first day of cardiac rehab after my heart attack years ago, walking in there knowing I would hate it.  I was right.  Some nurse, who was so sweet, bees were nesting in her hair, greeted me and made me fill out a whole bunch of questionnaires that no-one would ever read.  Then the doctor came in, listened to my heart for four seconds and left.  He had the charisma of tuna salad.  But, ok, I can deal with officious nurses and supernumerary doctors.

 

What I could not deal with were the other patients.  There were about twenty of them exercising on treadmills and bicycle machines.  Two of them were younger than me, twelve older and six were dead, but their machines hadn’t stopped yet.  And they all had little pink hearts with their names in crayon taped to their machines.  Gag me!  And they were all looking at me.  New meat!  I had to walk for six minutes as fast as I could on the carpet surrounding all these old cardiac-challenged strangers.  This is not me!  I do not like strangers; I do not want to talk with them; I do not want them watching me; and I assuredly do not want my name on a little pink heart.  I felt like a heifer at a beef auction.

 

Ok, I’m tired of talking of my recovery.  Carol’s tired of it; Shakespeare’s tired of it and so are you.

 

Message from Shakespeare:  I love you more than words can wield the matter (King Lear).  I kind of like that Pops is home all day, sitting in a chair where I can schnuggle on his lap for a long time.  Purr.

 

Last Saturday, I went out for the first time, just a local sports bar with some friends.  It was the night before Easter and the middle of Passover.  I guess I forgot last week to wish you a Happy Passover and Happy Easter, but I trust that while you were dealing with God in one way or another, you remembered to thank Him for all your blessings.

 

This restaurant we went to was a sports bar, and on every other screen was the UConn-Illinois basketball game as part of March Madness.  But, being the Passover season, the other screens ran The Ten Commandments with Charleton Heston.  I thought that was pretty strange, but never would I let a weird juxtaposition escape me:

 

On the left was the basketball news

We were sad to see Illinois lose

On the right we could see

God part the Red Sea

And an underdog win for the Jews.

 

Hi there and welcome back.  I hope you all are feeling well.  Aren’ you excited about our astronauts flying to the moon?  It’s very spectacular.  I think Trump has plans to build a fancy new restaurant on the Moon. I don’t think it will work – great food, no atmosphere.

 

Last week, I told you that I was not a highbrow, didn’t love the symphony or opera.  “Call me a boor, call me Ishmael”, I wrote.  Several friends commented that I couldn’t be a boor and still quote “Call me Ishmael”, the opening line of Moby Dick.  In high school, I got a D in Miss Bowers’ English class because of Moby Dick.  It was the only D that I ever received.  As a Freshman in college, I got an A+ in English Literature.  I took the grade report back to Miss Bowers just to show her how wrong she had been.  She had forgotten who I was.  Did you know that Starbucks was named after a character in Moby Dick?  I have now read Moby Dick seven times.  Call me Ridiculous!

 

I went to a funeral recently.  As Yogi Berra said, “always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise they won’t go to yours.”  At the funeral I ran into a woman I have not seen for many years.  With all my medical history, I guess she was surprised to see me looking ok.  She told me I looked magnificent.  Magnificent!  Can you imagine?  I was really flattered.  Do you think she was hitting on me?  I think she was hitting on me.

 

At funerals, when I hear everyone speak about how terrific the deceased was, I often wonder what people will say about me.  How will I be perceived and remembered?  I’d like to be there.  Come to think of it, I guess I will be.  It would be nice if people would stand up and say nice things about me.  Let’s start with the lady who thinks I’m magnificent.

 

There is actually one thing at which I am really good.  I’ll give you a few seconds to come up with it.  Ok, I’ll give you a few more seconds.  I’d better give you a hint – I can name any song from the 1950s, 60s and 70s before the second note.  Just play one note and I’m screaming Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs or Little Anthony and the Imperials.  I’m almost never wrong, and it used to be an important talent to have.  But no more.  Carol found Shazam!  She holds her iPhone to the radio and Shazam tells her the song and artist and even downloads it if she wants.  So much for my only talent!  I’m useless!  I feel like a snake trying to ride a bicycle.  Or a guy who is fluent in Aztec.  Or a man who repairs typewriters.  Or Donald Trump’s humility coach.  I am no longer needed.  I cannot compete.

 

Maybe I can compete in Weekly Words.  Today’s is supernumerary, which means something that is present in excess of normal numbers.  Like most of the words in my blog.

 

In conclusion, President Trump and I have something in common.  We were both born in 1946, as were President Clinton and President George W. Bush.  It seems I may be the only man born in 1946 who wasn’t elected President.  Well, there’s still a chance.  What it means is President Trump and I grew up to the same music – Rock ‘n Roll.  And I know his favorite song.  It’s the old Beach Boys classic –Bomb–Bomb–Bomb, Bomb–Bomb-Iran

Bomb–Bomb–Bomb, Bomb–Bomb-Iran.

 

Stay well, count your blessings and pray for peace.

 

Michael                          Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com