Blog #463                                January 22, 2026

 

Somebody mentioned Shake Shack the other day.  I will never forget the week that Shake Shack came to town, and we just HAAAAD to go.  I mean, how could we allow a new restaurant to come to town and not eat there before the first ketchup spill had dried on the floor?  (And don’t tell me it’s catsup.  Ketchup is what normal people put on their fries.  Catsup is what strange people from Long Island put on their scrambled eggs.)  So we drove twenty miles and stood in a line outside in 34^o cold for 40 minutes with a bunch of perfervid college students who thought we were the cast from Cocoon III.  The atmosphere was frenetic and fun, the burger was ok, the fries were terrible and the prices were outrageous.  But it was the new thing, the place to be, the scene, the in place.  And besides, you know the old saying; nothing ventured, nothing shivered in the cold for 40 minutes just to get an average burger and cold fries.   

 

I like Italian food better than burgers and fries, and I especially like Sicilian food with lots of olive oil and lemon and garlic.  A Sicilian restaurant is an Italian restaurant with pictures of criminals hung in the Men’s Room.  They usually have Marlon Brando and Al Pacino in pics from The Godfather and James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano.  Why do they display pictures of murderers and gangsters?  Are they proud of them?  Do you go to a Jewish deli and see pictures of Jeffrey Epstein and Bernie Madoff?  Do German restaurants have pictures of Hitler?  It wouldn’t surprise me.

 

Hi there and welcome back.  I hope you’re feeling well.  Did you know that last week was National Bagel Day?  To me, it was a big zero.  And did you know what

perfervid means?  It’s an unfamiliar word, but I know you like strange words for your Weekly Word.  Perfervid means very intense and impassioned. 

 

Actually, I have become very perfervid over something my oldest daughter just shared with me.  First, let me remind you that last week’s blog started with my frustrated confession of how difficult it was for me to replace some fluorescent bulbs in my bathroom and continued with a frustrating experience with a new hotel room.  Well, apparently my daughter has some setting on her phone which causes an Artificial Intelligence app to provide a short summary of any lengthy emails she receives.  What a world, right?  Anyway, here is the AI summary of my blog from last week:

 

Michael sent a blog post detailing his struggles

replacing a bathroom light fixture and his

wife’s refusal to help.  Michael complained

 about the overly complicated, frustrating

 technology in a recent Los Angeles hotel room.

 

That’s it.  That’s what AI gives you, dull prose with no humor and no irony.  So tell me, would you rather read the AI summary and be done with it or would you rather read my blog in all it’s wordy and humorous glory?  You’d better come up with the right answer.

 

I think the old man talks too much, but it doesn’t matter.  The only part I read is the Message from Shakespeare, the three-legged cat.  That old poet, the one named after me, said, Silence is the perfectest herald of joy (Much Ado About Nothing).  I would never bore you with too many words.  In fact, all I say is Meow.

 

Sorry if my cat is a little grumpy.  I bought him a new toy the other day.  It’s a little ball with a tail and some feathers, and there’s a motor inside the ball.  When you push a button, the ball rolls around and shakes its tail.  And Shakespeare runs away in terror and hides under a bed.  But if you don’t activate the motor, he loves to play with it.  See, he’s a Luddite like me; he doesn’t like new technology either.

 

I have a little puzzle for you.  Try putting six Xs on a tic-tac-toe grid without getting three in a row.  Answer later.

 

Prices for medicine seem to have gone up a lot in 2025.  I just got a new prescription for my arm and my leg.  It cost me an arm and a leg.

 

These tablets will act as a cure

Please take before bed to make sure

Dilute with some juice

‘Cause repeated use

Will cause you to be very poor.

 

When one of the side-effects on the label is “Bankruptcy”, it’s time to look for a generic. 

 

We are firmly into Winter now and it is very cold.  I hate the cold, and, as I age, I seem to be getting less tolerant of it.  Why did God have to invent winter?  As a contrast?  John Steinbeck wrote, “What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”  Maybe God made winter so we could marvel at the beauty of snow.  Or maybe He just wanted to make us shiver.

And yes, I called God a He.  Do I really need to apologize for that?  It seems that God has been called Our Father, Our King for almost 6,000 years, but in the past 25 years we have changed God to Our Parent, Our Ruler.  Why can’t God be a man?  Mother Nature hasn’t been changed to Parent Nature.  Have you ever heard of Parent Goose stories?  Or the Siblings Grimm?  Or Parent Theresa?  With all the scandals going on nowadays, I guess it’s not so good to be a man anyway.  So let’s just pray to Whoever for a mild winter.  Amen!  Oops, I guess I should have said – A-person!

 

And speaking of The Brothers Grimm.  Why isn’t it the Grimm Brothers?  It just sounds strange.  Have you ever heard of the Brothers Everly?  Or the Brothers Righteous?  Or the Brothers Smothers? 

 

And speaking of Parent Theresa, she once said, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.”  Thanks for joining me today.  I hope I have left you a little better and happier.  Maybe a smile or two.  Who needs that boring AI summary?  Stay well and count your blessings.

 

Michael                                    Send comments to mfox1746@gmail.com

 

Here are the six Xs placed on a tic-tac-toe grid that don’t make three in a row. 

 

X  X 

X     X

   X  X